We need to talk.
We've had five, wonderful years together. You've helped to make me laugh, and you've helped to make me weep. I'll always remember our first Xmas together, it was so special wasn't it? Back in the NTL days. Me setting recordings and you silently recording the TV I love.
Now, I've always been honest with you, and, I don't wish to hurt you, but, I need to be honest with you now.
You're not big enough.
No, I don't mean you're too fat, you look great, shiny and silvery and urm, boxy. But, you can only hold 20 hours of HD content, and the truth is, I need more. Its Virgin's fault, really, god-damn them! They have a lot to answer for, going from 1 HD channel to 17 on the XL pack. They don't care about the damage they cause to relationships like the one we had - I mean, have.
Now, thanks to Virgin, I'm recording HD content and setting HD series links all over the place.
You've tried your best to indulge me, but, I don't think our relationship can last. Why? Because, recently, I've been...urm, interested in someone else.
It started around 4 months ago, just a chance encounter online in December. She's sent me the odd email now and then, promising to see me soon, promising to rock my world, and to take me to content I didn't even knew existed. She's seduced me with promises of Catch-Up EPGs, 14 days-ahead EPGs, Apps and even a dedicated broadband connection.
And, well, the awkward thing is, she's coming around in a week or two:
And here's the snag. There's only room for one of you.
So, I think its best if you prepare to move out. Best for the both of us. You deserve better, someone you can truly love you for many years to come.
Either that or some scrapyard.
Lets enjoy our last week or two of our relationship. I promise to watch all the remaining, recorded content before the Engineer from Virgin comes to take you away, and I promise not to moan at you for being really slow in the early hours of the morning when I'm attempting to do....anything with you.
Will I miss you? Yeah, its been fun. But its time to move on...we can stay friends, right?